TEMPER TANTRUMS IN TODDLERS:HOW TO HANDLE
Why do tantrums happen?
A tantrum is the expression of a
young child's frustration with the challenges of the moment. Maybe your child
doesn't have the vocabulary or can't find the words to express his or her feelings.
Frustration might trigger anger — resulting in a temper tantrum.
If your child is thirsty, hungry or
tired, his or her threshold for frustration is likely to be lower — and a
tantrum more likely.For most toddlers, tantrums are a way to express frustration,If
you reward tantrums with something your child wants — or you allow your child
to get out of things by throwing a tantrum — the tantrums are likely to
continue.
Can tantrums be prevented?
There might be no foolproof way to
prevent tantrums, but there's plenty you can do to encourage good behavior in
even the youngest children.
For example:
Be consistent. Establish a daily
routine so that your child knows what to expect. Stick to the routine as much
as possible, including nap time and bedtime.
Plan ahead. Run errands when your
child isn't likely to be hungry or tired. If you're expecting to wait in line,
pack a small toy or snack to occupy your child.
Encourage your child to use words.
Young children understand many more words than they're able to express. If your
child isn't yet speaking — or speaking clearly — teach him or her sign language
for words such as "I want," "more," "drink,"
"hurt" and "tired."
Let your child make choices. Avoid
saying "no" to everything. To give your toddler a sense of control,
let him or her make choices. "Would you like to wear your red shirt or
your blue shirt?" "Would you like to eat strawberries or
bananas?" "Would you like to read a book or build a tower with your
blocks?"
Praise good behavior. Offer extra attention
when your child behaves well. Give your child a hug or tell your child how
proud you are when he or she shares or follows directions.
Avoid situations likely to trigger
tantrums. Don't give your child toys that are far too advanced for him or her.
If your child begs for toys or treats when you shop, try to steer clear of
areas with these temptation.
What's the best way to respond to a tantrum?
Typically, the best way to respond to
a tantrum is to stay calm and ignore the behavior. You also might try to
distract your child. If you can't stay calm and you're at home, leave the
room for a minute.
If your child is hitting or kicking
someone, hold him or her until he or she calms down.
Or you might try to view your child's
tantrum calmly and with compassion. Connect with and hold your child. Offer
comfort and redirection when your child is ready.
What if my child
becomes destructive or dangerous?
If a tantrum escalates, remove your child from the situation and enforce
a timeout:
Select a timeout spot. Seat your child in a boring place, such as in a
chair in the living room or on the floor in the hallway. Wait for your child to
calm down.
If your child has a tantrum in public, ignore the behavior if possible.
If your child becomes too disruptive, take him or her to a private spot for a
timeout. After the timeout return to the activity — or your child will learn
that a tantrum is an effective way to escape a given situation.
When is
professional help needed?
Most children begin to have fewer tantrums by age 3 and a half. If your
child is having trouble speaking at an age-appropriate level, is causing harm
to himself or herself or others, holds his or her breath during tantrums to the
point of fainting, or if tantrums get worse after age 4, share your concerns
with your child's doctor.
Early intervention can stem future behavioral problems and help your
child succeed both at home and at school.
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